Parenting

I wanted to start this post with a couple of questions. What is the purpose of parenting? Is there more than one purpose? Who is affected by parenting? I asked my sister this question because she has two kids and she said one of the purposes of parenting is to help them prepare for their future. In my opinion, one of the purposes of parenting is to help children understand how to learn and grow. I believe that there are many other purposes to parenting as well. Parenting is more than just teaching your children. It is showing unconditional love and trying your best to establish a healthy relationship with them. What are some of your thoughts? I think everyone of us is affected by parenting, no matter if you’re in the family or not, whether you are the parent or not. Everyone is affected because parenting is such a big part of our lives that we ourselves can posses those parenting values and everything else that comes with parenting. We take with us the things we learn from our parents throughout our lives.

            I also wanted to share the effects of parenting through the child’s mistaken approach, the child’s need, and the parental approach. First, the child can show under attention seeking, rebellion, control of others, and even revenge. The child’s need includes; contact belonging, challenge, power, protection, and withdrawal. The parental approach includes; offering contact freely, teaching to contribution, chores, consequences, assertiveness, and forgiveness. I loved learning about this in class because it helped me be aware of these things as I plan on approaching parenting in the future.

            I wanted to share a quote from President Thomas S. Monson. He said, "To you who are parents, I say, show love to your children. You know you love them, but make certain they know it as well. They are so precious. Let them know. Call upon Heavenly Father for help as you care for their needs each day as you deal with challenges which inevitably come with parenthood. You need more than your own wisdom in rearing them." Even though I don’t have kids, I love this quote because it is the duty as parents to love and care for their children. With that being said, how can we determine the best ways in which to approach parenting challenges and opportunities? For me personally, I am a religious person and from what I believe, it is important that we approach parenting challenges and opportunities with the gospel of Jesus Christ. I think we should strive to approach these things as the Savior would. When I become a parent, I want to be able to share that Christ-like love to my children and show them that they can always come to me for anything. I want my children to feel that they can be open with me. This is important to me because I know that they can learn so much from themselves, from me, and from what they are going through at the moment.

            Growing up, I was blessed with wonderful parents. They taught me so many things that has always stuck with me. I owe my parents everything because they really knew what was best for me. From their parenting styles, I’ve learned that it is important to share unconditional love towards anyone you come in contact with and always strive to be a good example. There are many other things that I’ve learned from them growing up and there are still things that I continue to learn from them. I will always be grateful for that.

Fathers and Finances

This week, I’ve come to better understand the importance of fathers and the importance of providing for a family. I wanted to first share my thoughts about fathers. In mine own experience, I have been so blessed to have a wonderful father figure in my life. I have learned so much from my own father and I am so grateful for that. There have been many other fathers that have had an influence in my life and I don’t think I would be in the position I’m in today if it wasn’t for them and their example. Fathers are an important figure in our life because we need them in our own families. We need their example of leadership, sacrifice, love, service, and their many other characteristics. What I love about fathers is how strong they are. They are strong to take care of their family and strong in taking the responsibility to provide. My father has taught me to serve and sacrifice. This is something that I will always remember because it helps us to be prepared for our own lives as we continue to grow and progress. I will forever be grateful for fathers and their support that they give. I know that it is essential to have them in a family. How has your father or fathers’ influenced you in your life?

In regards to providing for yourself and our own family, I wanted to share this quote with you and it is from President Thomas S. Monson. He says, "We do live in turbulent times. Often the future is unknown; therefore, it behooves us to prepare for uncertainties. Statistics reveal that at some time, for a variety of reasons, you may find yourself in the role of financial provider. I urge you to pursue your education and learn marketable skills so that, should such a situation arise, you are prepared to provide." I love this quote because it is important that we do all that we can to prepare to be self reliant. Personally, I relate to this quote a lot because I have been striving to continue my education and attain certain skills to help me be prepared to provide for a family that I will have in the future. I know that I have grown so much because of it. I know that when we pursue an education and learn certain skills it will help us tremendously. The principle of hard work has always been prevalent in my life. If we work hard and do what we can to reach our goals then we can help our own marriage and family to do the same. What are some of your thoughts about this topic?

Finances have a profound influence on the family. It can create so much stress in your life because of the constant worry of making ends meet. If we effectively communicate to one another about these finances then it can be so helpful to make those ends meet. I do not have my own family yet but I think we all struggle at some point in our lives to be financially stable. As I have said before, those that are preparing for marriage and family need to understand that we need all the experience we can get to be able to provide for one another someday. Preparing is something that we will all continue to do throughout our lives. As we prepare we will be able to better manage our finances. What are some of the experiences you’ve had when dealing with finances and being prepared to provide for a family?

Communication

To start, communication is something that we use everyday. I wanted to discuss the role communication has within the family. There is a quote by President Ezra Taft Benson and it says, "Your most important friendships should be with your own brothers and sisters and with your father and mother. Love your family. Be loyal to them. Have a genuine concern for your brothers and sisters. Help carry their load so you can say, like the lyrics of the song, 'He ain't heavy; he's my brother'." I love this quote because it helps us understand that our relationships within the family are very important. We should not take lightly the relationships we have with others. I heard once from someone that, “we should never treat any relationship as temporary.” This is something I will always remember. Every since I heard this phrase, I have never forgotten it because I know that this is so true. In general, even though you meet certain people that you might not like or don’t know as well it is important that you seek to get to know that person. They may need you and you may need them. In my own life, I know that communicating with those in my family has improved my life.

From my family relations class, I learned that there are three types of communication, which are; our words, our tone, and our non-verbal communication. Each aspect consists of a percentage which all add up to 100%. When we communicate, we use 14% words, 35% tone, and 51% non-verbal communication. I thought this is interesting because we use non-verbal communication the most. Our body language when we communicate is a key element to how we communicate. Our body language can send negative or positive vibes when we are conversing with one another. In my opinion, this is where we may see problems that may arise as we communicate. Understanding the roles of tone and non-verbal communication in our own family communication can help improve the quality of our relationships. Throughout my life, I have always heard that “communication is key”. And whoever started saying this, it IS key to the quality of our relationships.

I also learned from my class that there are five secrets in communicating. The first secret is the disarming technique or the kernel or truth, the second one is to express empathy, and the third is to inquire or talk more. The first 3 secrets all fall under the word empathy. The fourth secret falls under assertiveness which we recognize when, how we feel/felt, why, and the “I would like”. For example, I would like hope. The fifth secret falls under respect which it to express genuine/authentic admiration. As we understand and apply these five secrets in our communication with others we can be able to effectively communicate. What are some ways you improve communication with others and especially with those in your family?

We can apply these principles within our relationships in the family. I know that those of you may not have the greatest relationships with those in your family but I know that when you try and do your best to become closer to them it will bless your life. Life is too short to not try and communicate with those that you will always love. From my experience, I know that communication is something that I will always struggle with but as I continue to practice and do my part it will benefit not only myself but those that I contact with in my family. It is important that we strive to think of others in our family and how we can improve the relationships we have with them.