Transitions Into Marriage

This week in class we talked about really good topics such as the wedding vs. marriage, building a foundation for your marriage, and reasons why someone might not date, begin a courtship, and become engaged. These transitions into marriage can be challenging for a couple and should be taken very seriously. With that being said, what makes a good wedding? I feel like our society focuses so much on the wedding and not so much preparing for marriage. It is interesting to me why this is because I feel that we are so focused on pleasing others and not so much about what is coming next and how we can improve ourselves for others. Our society has this perspective of what makes a good wedding. It involves an expensive wedding, the fancy venue, the cake, the attire, and the food, etc. People are so caught up in the fact that it has to be over the top, which, I can understand, but again, in my opinion it is to please those around them. I know the wedding day is one of the most important days of your life and should be extravagant, but on the other hand it should be more focused on the reason why you are getting married and less on the material things.

            So, what makes a good marriage then? In preparation for the wedding, individuals and couples should focus on the foundation of the relationship, which will in turn help make a good marriage. A foundation such as, learning how to make decisions together, learning how to problem solve together, learning how to communicate with one another, and setting boundaries in the relationship can help improve the quality of it and help prepare for a good marriage in the future. This preparation can establish healthy habits of a relationship that can continue on throughout marriage.

            What I thought was interesting was how we discussed good reasons why people do not date, or begin a courtship, and then eventually become engaged. Some of the reasons why people do not date include; hard to settle down, burdensome/lack of effort, they are already satisfied, have negative feedback, would rather work and just stick with it, not a lot of opportunities, focus more on education, it is cheaper and requires no or little effort. After reflecting on these reasons, it makes sense as to why couples do not date. I think it is important that we look at the positives of going on dates rather than the negatives. You never know what could happen if you just take the risks and go with a positive attitude about dating as you go on dates. Dating is essential for courtship and marriage. Some of the reasons why people might not begin a courtship includes; having to be committed, closed off other options, fear of not being ready, costs more money and time, it can be emotionally draining. I can understand these are reasons but once again it is also important that we keep moving forward with our relationships and keep trying so that we can know if they are the one to marry. Reasons why someone might not propose to become engaged include; fear or rejection and fear of not having enough money/being financially unstable, etc. After discussing all of these reasons it is important that we are informed of them because we can learn from our mistakes and move forward and eventually transition into a healthy marriage. I have actually learned a lot from these topics from class and hope that we can remember to try our best in each and every one of our relationships.