Family Life and Sexual Intimacy

This week in class, we discussed sexual intimacy and family life. I found this topic to be important to discuss because it is essential to the family. I love this quote by President Henry B. Eyring. He said, “Just as Jesus used a child in His mortal ministry as an example for the people of the pure love they must and could have to be like Him, He has offered us the family as an example of an ideal setting in which we can learn how to love as He loves. That is because the greatest joys and the greatest sorrows we experience are in family relationships. The joys come from putting the welfare of others above our own. That is what love is." I love this quote because the family is central to His plan and our plan. The family is a place where we learn to love and be loved by those around us. It is one of the safest places to teach your children of love and sexual intimacy. With that being said, I think it is important that we are willing to be open to talk about this with our children and family. In my opinion, I would want my children to first learn and understand the purpose of love and sexual intimacy within marriage from my spouse and I. I want to make sure that they are open with me about this subject because I don’t want them to first learn it form their peers. What are some of your thoughts about educating your children? How and at what ages would you educate them?

On another note, throughout class, we also discussed how there can be many challenges to early marital intimacy. For example, miscommunication between the husband and wife of how and when it is appropriate. This can create a strain in the relationship. Another challenge might be not being aware of each other’s needs regarding sexual intimacy. These challenges could possibly lead to infidelity in marriage. So how can we protect marriage from infidelity of any kind? This is just something to think about because there are many ways to protect marriage. Honestly, from my perspective one of the biggest ways we can protect marriage from infidelity is communicating with one another. Having that solid communication with your spouse is essential in marriage. I feel that my generation has a problem with effective communication. I have heard many times that “communication is key”. I truly believe this statement. I hope that I can continue to improve my communication skills with any relationship that I have so that I can help myself prepare for marriage.

I just want to say that sexual intimacy and family life is a sensitive topic. We should not take it likely though because it is very serious. From what I believe, God has blessed us with this wonderful gift. We have the opportunity to create our own individual families with this divine gift and I am so grateful for that. The family is central as we learn about this gift. I am so grateful for the gospel of Jesus Christ and the principles that I have learned that continue to guide and help me in my relationships with others. It continues to bless my life in helping me to not only protect myself but also to protect others. I am so grateful for the things that I have been taught in class because it has helped me to prepare for my own family. I hope that we can remember these things to help us in our own families and daily life.

Transitions Into Marriage

This week in class we talked about really good topics such as the wedding vs. marriage, building a foundation for your marriage, and reasons why someone might not date, begin a courtship, and become engaged. These transitions into marriage can be challenging for a couple and should be taken very seriously. With that being said, what makes a good wedding? I feel like our society focuses so much on the wedding and not so much preparing for marriage. It is interesting to me why this is because I feel that we are so focused on pleasing others and not so much about what is coming next and how we can improve ourselves for others. Our society has this perspective of what makes a good wedding. It involves an expensive wedding, the fancy venue, the cake, the attire, and the food, etc. People are so caught up in the fact that it has to be over the top, which, I can understand, but again, in my opinion it is to please those around them. I know the wedding day is one of the most important days of your life and should be extravagant, but on the other hand it should be more focused on the reason why you are getting married and less on the material things.

            So, what makes a good marriage then? In preparation for the wedding, individuals and couples should focus on the foundation of the relationship, which will in turn help make a good marriage. A foundation such as, learning how to make decisions together, learning how to problem solve together, learning how to communicate with one another, and setting boundaries in the relationship can help improve the quality of it and help prepare for a good marriage in the future. This preparation can establish healthy habits of a relationship that can continue on throughout marriage.

            What I thought was interesting was how we discussed good reasons why people do not date, or begin a courtship, and then eventually become engaged. Some of the reasons why people do not date include; hard to settle down, burdensome/lack of effort, they are already satisfied, have negative feedback, would rather work and just stick with it, not a lot of opportunities, focus more on education, it is cheaper and requires no or little effort. After reflecting on these reasons, it makes sense as to why couples do not date. I think it is important that we look at the positives of going on dates rather than the negatives. You never know what could happen if you just take the risks and go with a positive attitude about dating as you go on dates. Dating is essential for courtship and marriage. Some of the reasons why people might not begin a courtship includes; having to be committed, closed off other options, fear of not being ready, costs more money and time, it can be emotionally draining. I can understand these are reasons but once again it is also important that we keep moving forward with our relationships and keep trying so that we can know if they are the one to marry. Reasons why someone might not propose to become engaged include; fear or rejection and fear of not having enough money/being financially unstable, etc. After discussing all of these reasons it is important that we are informed of them because we can learn from our mistakes and move forward and eventually transition into a healthy marriage. I have actually learned a lot from these topics from class and hope that we can remember to try our best in each and every one of our relationships.

Dating and Preparing for Marriage

Throughout this week, I’ve come to learn more about dating and preparing for marriage. In my generation, dating has changed and has become so different than before. I’ve noticed that my generation has been so accustomed to hanging out rather than going out of dates. In correlation with this statement, I’ve asked myself the questions of what makes a good date? And how is this different from “hanging out”? In my opinion, what makes a good date is having it be planned out. I feel like when it is planned out you are able to have more fun with the other person and provides more opportunities to get to know each other better than any other situation of just “hanging out”. Other aspects of what makes a good date is having it being paid for and it being protected. Having it being paid for allows each other to be responsible and respectful towards one another. Having it be protected allows each other not only to respect one another but also making it safe. This is different from just “hanging out” because when you are on a good date it makes it more formal. Hanging out creates a vibe of just being too relaxed and chill with the other person. This can affect the quality of the relationship. This matters because it can help or hinder the relationship in preparation for marriage. I honestly do not like the “hanging out” phase that my generation has adopted because you cannot truly get to know a person on a level of just “hanging out”. You have to do things that you both enjoy doing so that you can know how you each react to certain things.

Another question that has been on my mind is what kind of love do you consider most valuable? A love that I consider to be most valuable is full of sacrifice, service, and respect. Growing up, as I have watched my parents and siblings that have gotten married reflect these same characteristics in their own marriage, it makes me want to value this kind of love in my own life. I think you can learn a lot from each other by possessing these same characteristics in a relationship. I am so grateful for my family in helping me learn and understand these characteristics of a relationship. There are of course other characteristics about the kind of love that I value but these are the most important to me. This brings me to my next question of what would I most desire within a marriage? I would desire to spend quality time with the other person. This requires sacrifice, service, and respect in the relationship as I have mentioned before. I would hope to continue dating each other throughout marriage because this helps you improve the quality of the relationship even after marriage. Another question that I thought was interesting is how does one come to develop the kind of love you find of greatest value? I think it comes with trial and error as you come to develop this kind of love that I have mentioned. I think learning from your mistakes can help you to develop the love that you want in a relationship. There are many other ways as well that someone can develop this kind of love.

As I have come to reflect on these questions, I want to know what are some of your thoughts about this topic. How do you come to develop the kind of love you find of greatest value? And what kind of love do you consider to be most valuable? I hope that we can try a little harder to be a little better at improving the quality of our relationships with other people, doesn’t matter who it is. This applies to every relationship but especially those of the opposite sex.

Gender Differences

This week, I wanted to discuss gender and family life. I first want to talk about the importance of gender. From my religious point of view I believe men and women have divine nature. From the proclamation to the world by the first presidency and the Council of the Twelve Apostles of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints it says, “ALL HUMAN beings—male and female—are created in the image of God. Each is a beloved spirit son or daughter of heavenly parents, and, as such, each has a divine nature and destiny. Gender is an essential characteristic of individual premortal, mortal, and eternal identity and purpose.” I know that God created each gender differently but equally. I love how it says that, “gender is an essential characteristic of individual, premortal, mortal, eternal identity and purpose.” This is so powerful to me because we can come to understand how important our gender is. This is a very controversial topic today and I just want to express my thoughts about it.

In class, we talked about gender typical behavior. For females, their behavior is seen as; social, relationship oriented, cooperative, nurturing in and outside of the home. For males it’s seen as; aggressive, competitive, provide, protect, etc. I thought this was interesting and important because these differences are essential for balance within the home. A question that I have been pondering lately is, what challenges and benefits arise from common male-female differences in establishing and maintaining healthy family? A challenge that arises from these differences is not being able to fully understanding each other’s roles. A benefit that arises from these differences includes maintaining a proper functioning family. There are many other challenges but, as I thought about these differences it makes me wonder why would God ordain and endorse gender differences? In my opinion, that is his plan. He knew that having these differences would help and bless our lives so that we would understand the purpose we each have. We are also here on earth to be tested and God knew that we would have to learn for ourselves about these differences and how to apply them in our family life.

Another question that I have been pondering is how does encouraging young people to identify as gay help or hurt them? It spiritually hurts them because they can fall from the church and go against what our religion stands for. But, on the other hand it helps them to be happier because they finally found and understand their “true identity”. This is a tough issue to discuss in my opinion but as I have come to understand our gender differences and how that affects the family life I can’t help but to think what are my obligations and opportunities relative to this issue? In all honesty, I think it is important that we love each other no many our gender differences. God knows each and every one of our daily struggles and with that knowledge we can pray for the eyes to see others as he sees them. My obligation is to pray for opportunities to serve and learn from one another. We each will always have differences between one another but I know that we can find ways to treat everyone as equals. It is important that we are mindful of those that struggle with gender differences because it is a sensitive topic and there is no need to try and offend others. I know that we are all God’s children and with that knowledge I can take it and apply it by loving everyone of my brothers and sisters. 

Culture

Culture is something that has been on my mind recently. In sociology, we always discuss how culture plays a major role in our society. I guess I never really thought about how the family can have its’ own culture. This is really interesting to me because in class, we talked about how families from Mexico cross the border to come to the United States and how that influences their family dynamic/culture.

 I am half Mexican and in my family, we have created our own culture. My grandpa is from Mexico and he traveled to America many years ago. As he grew up, he wanted a better life for himself and wanted to find more opportunities to be able to support himself and his future family. I’m sure it wasn’t easy for him to leave his family behind and embark on a new culture in the United States. From his example, my family has learned how sacrifice and service is vital in helping the family cope with the changes in the family culture. I have come to understand my families’ culture in being Mexican-American. It has changed my perspective on families’ who come to America for reasons to better their lives.

A factor to culture that I thought was interesting is how families may have to face language barriers as they come to the United States. English is a language families will have to learn as they come to work and communicate with those who do not speak Spanish. I can’t imagine how hard it is to learn English as they come to the United States. That is a huge change for families’ to be accustom to.

Sacrifice is another factor that influences a families’ culture. Parents sacrifice money and time to provide for their family. As they travel to the United States, they literally sacrifice everything for their family to have a better life. They also sacrifice time away from their family. This influences the culture within the family because relationships may become strained as they are far away from each other and are always gone. As they become reunited, it may be difficult to reestablish a relationship what was once there. These sacrifices are hard for families’ to experience. It just goes to show how much love parents and children have for each other to sacrifice their time and money for better opportunities.

I am honestly so grateful for families’ and the culture that they can display. We can learn so much from each other and from other cultures as well. I think it is important that we keep an open mind to those who may have these challenges in their lives. I also think it is important that we are also aware of our own culture in our family. Once we understand our own culture within the family, I feel that we can understand others better. Culture has always been so important to me and I think that’s why I love studying it so much. I think that’s part of why I am a sociology major is because I can come to understand other people’s background. I hope that we can all keep an open mind of culture and culture within the family because like I said it will help us to understand others better.